FIGHT THE LONELINESS OF THE ADDRESS

Many look forward to the Diwali weekend filled with lights, laughter, family and gatherings. However, for many people, parties tend to turn into dark, lonely phases that can eventually have a negative and long-term effect on mental and physical health. Time to deal with the impact of loneliness wisely.

‘Lack’ and comparison
Loneliness is an individual experience, and the underlying cause may vary from person to person. But during the festive season, these pessimistic feelings may feel blocked due to the lack of companionship, especially for working people who cannot enter their homes, elderly people who miss children during this time, or people without a proper company. The trend is on the rise in this age of social media, filled with photos of people having fun at parties. “When one is alone and lonely, one tends to overuse social media, which worsens the situation,” explains Dr Nimrat Singh, a rehabilitation psychologist and consultant, who says that social media often leads to developing unrealistic expectations and comparative actions. And comparison leads to emotional distress, discomfort and a sense of loss, which causes withdrawal.

Recognize, accept, reflect, and act
The first – and most important – step in dealing with these feelings is to come to terms with the person’s feelings. If you feel moody, and irritable, and find yourself fidgeting, check if it’s because of loneliness. It is important to accept these feelings without harming yourself. Take time to introspect, identify and examine your causes, thoughts and feelings. It is also important to make decisions that focus on your well-being rather than being controlled by social norms or being influenced by the people around you.

Low expectations
Underneath all the fun of Diwali, everyone is struggling with their own issues; so don’t expect everyone to pour out their whole soul to you. Clarify your expectations of others and yourself, starting with the content you use on social media. Many people only post positive “feelings” on social media, not a view of their entire lives. Limit your use of social media and don’t compare your situation with what you see there. Avoid building imaginary things that are influenced by what you see on television and in movies, understand that art does not always reflect reality; however, it is not true for everyone! Set your expectations so you can have fun, be present and appreciate the company around you.

Technology is a friend
Do you remember COVID-19 and how the world came together online? It’s time to make technology your friend again. Schedule a time that works for everyone, plan games that everyone can participate in, dress up (or dress down), and be busy with food, drinks, and company. really. The desire to spend time with your loved ones, even virtually, can go a long way in alleviating loneliness.

Not to exceed the commitment
Socializing twice a day for three to four days can be exhausting even for a hobbyist! Accept your needs and set limits. Filter the company you want to spend time with. It’s important to prioritize yourself when you’re dealing with strong emotions, and if you feel that interacting with a certain group of people might not benefit you, say no.

Wake up your favorite things, relax
Do relaxing activities. Research shows creative activities in times of emotional distress can be a good place as they help people connect with their deepest thoughts through self-reflection. Immerse yourself in a light book or movie, finish that art project, try out that pipe you marked or turn on some music and declutter.

Put self-care first
Although it may sound simple, self-care and self-love are the things that can help you deal with loneliness. Embrace the process of starting to take control of your emotions and become independent. Try using a journal to jot down thoughts during this time, allowing pen and paper to be your best friend as you wrestle with your thoughts. Feel free to call a friend so you can talk to them and feel better.

Be grateful, feel grateful
One of the most powerful tools used by mental health professionals around the world, practicing gratitude allows you to focus on the positive things in your life and appreciate them. It helps you shift your mindset from neediness to contentment – focus on your journey and growth, focus on the love and support in your life and be grateful for the little things in life. It is important to note that although these factors may apply to some, people have different ways of dealing with the situation. For those dealing with chronic mental health issues, loneliness during the holidays can be a debilitating time, and you should see your doctor or seek additional help if needed.

Dr. Nimrat Singh
Rehabilitation psychologist, educational consultant
If you see someone in your family struggling with loneliness, “First, reach out to that person and engage with them as you normally would. Be a good listener and be there without to stretch your tools. Do the little things that you think will make them happy. Seasonal affective disorder and depression are common during the seasons we go through and can make a person feel useless. Sometimes, letting someone know you support them is an act of support.”

Support helplines
• National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS)
Helpline: 080-26995000
• All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS) Mental Health
Helpline: 011-26588700
• Indian Psychiatric Society (IPS)
Helpline: 033-22831777
• Online counseling platforms: BetterHelp / YourDOST /Counselling India